I find it ironic and oddly not surprised at all that my word for this year was going to be STRENGTH. Boy have I needed it. This year so far has been stressful and every week seems to bring new struggles into our lives. No more so than these past 6 weeks for myself. I recently had surgery to remove the right half of my thyroid due to an “atypical” biopsy result and now as I await the results I feel I need more strength than ever. Waiting is the by the far one of the worst things we as humans deal with on a daily basis. In the little things in life and the big things, we wait. I’ve been awfully anxious the past couple of days awaiting my results from pathology and all I could think of today while driving around in my car was thankful. Despite my fear, my anxiety all my thoughts were directed toward thankfulness and love for the one person in my life whom I could not do without, Jesus.
Thank you Jesus for loving me, even when my faith is small. Thank you Jesus that despite all my anxiety and fears, you are there. Thank you that when the panic sets in all I have to do is whisper your name and my pulse rapidly drops and peace sets in. Thank you that even on the morning of my surgery when my fear should have been at a high all I felt was calm and peaceful. Thank you that even when I feel overwhelmed and feel like I can’t handle these situations, you find a way to reassure me that YOU can handle it for me and you will, I need only be still. Thank you that you never give up on me and stand by me waiting for me to let go when my controlling nature sets in and I don’t want to give it up. Thank you for assuring me that all of this, this journey I am on is not for nothing. Thank you for the assurance that this is not an end but a beginning to a new chapter in my long life that you give purpose to. Thank you for loving me in spite of the fact that I’m not great at reading my Bible every day. Thank you dear Jesus, for being you, for giving me life, for giving me hope, for giving me purpose, for using me as a light to others, for being there in the noise and in the quiet and for just being.
Now we wait…
“The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.”